Frequently Asked Questions About A Relationship Therapist

Relationships are one among the many fundamentals of living. We form relationships with ourselves, the people around us, with animals, and even with nature. 

Our relationship with mother earth is something that no one should take for granted. It provides for our daily living, including food, shelter, and even the air we breathe. With that, it is only imperative that we take good care of the environment for future generations to enjoy.

Meanwhile, dating is one of the most exciting forms of relationships. As we spend time with another person, we build deeper connections. More than intimacy, knowing another on a deep level is certainly a unique experience.


But marriage, compared to dating, is on another level. Getting married is a lifetime commitment, so it’s not an easy process. Some say that the beginning of a marriage is the most difficult stage. Since partners are adjusting to the new setup, conflicts are likely to arise.

Some say that there is nothing a good conversation can’t fix. But for struggling couples, marriage therapy might best help rebuild a shaky relationship. Therapy provides the avenue for communication to recognize the root causes of issues. More importantly, it helps craft solutions to address them. Furthermore, marriage therapy can also help shed light if the relationship can remain afloat.

A toxic relationship is difficult to settle without an external point of view. It is why marriage counseling helps to address unhelpful behaviors that can be causing conflicts. The sessions will not just dig on the negative. It will also tackle the good things about the relationship and the other half. Usually, the entire therapy session lasts for only a couple of months.

Partners may have different reasons for wanting to reconcile. Often, couples seek to fix their relationship mainly for the children’s sake. In most cases, children in an unhealthy marriage tend to suffer emotionally. The lack of proper guidance, in addition to constant arguing, can be emotionally taxing. In unfortunate circumstances, it can lead to developing worse mental health problems.

If you are looking for ways to work out your marriage, you might want to learn more about relationship therapists and how they can help you. 

What does a marriage therapist do?

A marriage therapist can help struggling couples who are either married or engaged.  Partners experiencing hardships can seek the help of marriage therapists for advice and guidance. Married couples are usually the clients of a marriage therapist. However, engaged couples can also seek support to help them work through specific relationship issues. Some people believe that going to a marriage therapist can help achieve a successful union.

How effective is marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling produces positive results. There is 70% success for couples who receive it. Therefore, marriage counseling was able to help almost half of the pairs resolve their relationship issues.

How many years does it take to be a marriage and family therapist?

Becoming a marriage and family therapist requires full-time students to complete their MFT degree programs. A person who wants to become an MFT will need to pass a clinical exam. They must also finish the required clinical hours and work in different settings. Such helps to establish competency as a therapist.

How much does marriage counseling usually cost?

Generally, marriage counseling may cost about $100 to $200 per hour. Consider that most professional marriage counselors offer 90 minutes per session. With this, the average cost is about $150 to $300 for each session. It’s also important to consider that marriage counseling may entail multiple sessions. It all depends on the client’s situation. Therefore, it would be best to assume that the overall costs may be higher.

What questions are asked in marriage counseling?

The questions asked in marriage counseling usually revolve around the main issues in the relationship. During the counseling, couples share their thoughts on what hinders their relationship from working. The therapist may also require them to verbalize the things they appreciate about each other. A marriage counselor may ask the adjustments that they are willing to make.

When should you consider couples counseling?

There are many reasons why a couple may visit a marriage counselor. Some go through issues of affair, betrayal, or unfaithfulness within the relationship. A couple who is considering breaking up or divorce may also seek counseling. It can assist them in making the final decision. For couples who are getting married, going to couples counseling may help build a strong foundation in their relationship.

Can therapy save a relationship?

Some couples go to marriage counseling to preserve their relationship. Others go to prepare for the end of it. Couples should be genuinely motivated to repair their relationship and commit to making changes. Only through this will marriage therapy can be useful to save a relationship.


Can you fix a broken relationship?

It is possible to mend a broken relationship. However, couples must be willing to work on it and decide that their relationship is worth fixing. Partners must also realize that it will take some time to heal a relationship entirely. The repair might need patience from both of them.

Why do couples go to therapy?

Marriage therapy can help couples restore their trust. It also helps widen insight to be able to settle conflicts. If all goes well, it improves the relationship bliss. Therapy educates them on the strategies, tools, and processes that are useful in the relationship.

Can a therapist tell you to leave your partner?

The answer is no. A therapist’s job is to help couples make such decisions for themselves and not dictate their choices. It is unethical to impose personal opinions on what a couple should do in their relationship.

What should a couple look for in a therapist?

A couple’s therapist should not take sides. The therapist should entertain both sides of the story. It’ll also be great to have a therapist with a flexible schedule. A good therapist must also comfortably open up discussions about finances and sex life. Look for someone who will respect your boundary. An ideal one will provide strategies and teach you how to use them in the relationship effectively.

How long should couple therapy last?

The length of a couple’s therapy varies as relationships are different. However, the average course of successful marriage counseling may last 12-20 sessions.

What should I not tell a marriage counselor?

Things you may want to open up to your marriage counselor mostly depend on you. You should not feel pressured to disclose any information you’re not comfortable with yet. It’s essential to know about the “therapist-patient privilege.”  It states that a therapist must not divulge any private information in court or elsewhere.

However, this only applies to one-on-one private sessions. Arguably, it won’t be easy to secure confidentiality when there are three people in a session.

Does the Gottman method work?

Many studies displayed the Gottman method as an effective treatment. Studies say that it improves marital relationships, intimacy, and adjustment. It also helps couples move past their recurring problems and enjoy the journey of their relationship again. Various researchers and therapists are significantly paying attention to this method.

What is stonewalling in marriage?

Stonewalling happens when a person in the relationship avoids communicating once an issue arises. Like stonewall, the partner who becomes unreachable often seems distant and impassable. It may appear in various forms, such as

  1. Silent treatment,
  2. Conflict avoidance,
  3. Indirect eye contact and
  4. Unwillingness to acknowledge evident relationship issues.


Getting married is not all rainbows and butterflies. At one point, it can be too consuming, which is why having someone to open up to can be helpful.

It might be initially daunting to open up relationship issues with a stranger, like a therapist. However, this might be your only chance to redeem your struggling relationship. A marriage therapist can let you talk about your insights and frustrations with your current relationship. 


When trying to rekindle your feelings about your relationship, it’s important to get clarity. The therapy can help you and your partner sort out how you feel about each other. Whatever your decision might be afterward, marriage therapy can help give your decision direction. 

As the relationship matures, problems can get more complicated. But through therapy, you can deepen your connection with each other as you get to understand your partner more. The act of going to marriage therapy can even refresh your passion with each other.

The early stages of the relationship are often more exciting. Through time, the excitement may fade as arguments and conflicts emerge. The relationship can be tougher to manage, which is why relationship therapists exist. They can help you properly sort out the issues, identify pain points, and come up with a decision.

It’s best to try therapy before making a major life decision. After laying out the problems, the therapist might suggest ways to work things out. Both parties’ willingness to resolve the conflicts and work things out will play a significant role in the result.

It takes a lot of work to get the best outcomes from therapy. The process may be tedious and long. But as long as you religiously adhere to the resolutions, the therapy will surely work out well.

Through the right kind of therapy, you can achieve a happy marriage or a healthy separation. Do not deprive yourself of peace of mind and growth. You have the power to live a fulfilling and worth living life still. It’s not too late to get started.

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